Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Be A Vegan And Not An Asshole

 So my last post was an welcoming to the vegan family. Did you get your card in the mail yet? This post on the other hand is a petition. My one and only request.

  And it goes like this, please be a vegan and not an asshole.

  Do you feel good about yourself for making the decision to no longer use or consume products that exploit and harm animals? Great, you should. *internet high five*

  Do you now feel like you are in any way, shape or form better than anyone else i.e. meat eaters or vegheads? Not so great, you shouldn't. *internet dick punch* I learned that move in my pacifistic virtual kung fu class.

  Truth is, unfortunately a lot of times when someone chooses the vegan lifestyle they become engulfed by an elitist attitude, myself included. You begin to look down upon others who don't share your views. And in some cases disregard the sacredness of another life form. Which is the complete antithesis of the core belief of Veganism. So I hope your compassion for animals will bleed over into compassion for all things. All life is sacred!

  Why should I have compassion for all forms you ask?

  Hear me now my friend, no man is better than you. Also inversely you are better than no man. The result of the poetic conundrum I posed is equality. Let me pose another notion nothing is right nor wrong, only different. We are all human beings. You and I just operate under a different modality, one attuned to a more sensitive frequency. So I pray thee, please approach Veganism accordingly. As the saying goes hate can not drive out hate, only love can do that.

  I am sure you are saying to yourself right about now "uh okay... so what the hell is with the pasta?" Well I had to get you to read my rant somehow didn't I? That is a picture of  the gluten free rice penne, with huge colossal black olives and a garlic and herb blended vegan sauce, I devoured not too long ago. Healthy and delicious!

  Any thoughts: vegan, asshole, shit even pasta related, let me hear 'em below. I'd love to know what you think. Until next time my avegos (see what I did there), choose love over fear and bye for now.

                                                                                                        - The Vegan Culprit


Thursday, January 2, 2014

2014 , The Year You Went Vegan

Vegan bacon and avocado potato wedges
 Happy New Year from The Vegan Culprit! I thought I'd give everyone a day to sober up before posting this. Now with all the resolutions flying around I am sure there were more than a few people who proclaimed "I'm going vegan in 2014!". To which I say congratulations on joining the club! Your member's card should arrive in the mail in about a week. Jokes aside I'm sure as they said that they were thinking to themselves this is gonna be the worst year of my life and my taste buds will never forgive me. Well I'm here to assure you if you do go vegan those suckers will be working overtime this year!

  Case in point these mouthwatering vegan bacon and avocado potato wedges pictured above. The beauty of this meal, and most vegan meals for that matter, is that it isn't just food porn. Even though it is fun to give your carnivorous friends tongue and eye boners and then drop the bomb on them that it's sans fauna. But they're also easy to make and healthier than the rival animal product laden indulgences.

  To make it is super simple. You only need a few things.

  • Potatoes 
  • Avocados 
  • Coconut bacon
  • Olive oil

  All you need to do is cut up the potatoes. Coat lightly in olive oil. Then bake at around 400° for around 40 minutes or until golden. Then pile on the avocado and bacon! You can even add Daiya a cheese substitute used in a lot of vegan recipes to give even more of a taste of the old life. But I'm not the biggest fan of Daiya cheese so I left it off for this one.

 Now all of the ingredients for this trip to heaven are easy to find minus the coconut bacon. That you will have to buy at a grocery store that specializes in healthy alternatives. I prefer to make my own. It's just as easy, if not easier, as the potatoes. You only need:

  • Unsweetened coconut flakes
  • Liquid smoke (this shit is awesome!)
  • Tamari
  • Paprika

  For every cup of coconut you are going to add one tablespoon of tamari, half a tablespoon of liquid smoke and a pinch of paprika. Stir them all together in a bowl. Feel free to play with that, everyone enjoys different levels of smokey, salty and spicy. I usually just end up adding more of everything to my recipes. Then after the coconut has soaked up the liquids. Throw it in a greased pan and into the oven at 325° for around fifteen minutes. Make sure you move it around every couple of minutes because it will burn. That's actually how I can tell when it is done when a little black starts to show because I like crispy bacon. And that's it. You can now add bacon to anything! Which I may or may not do.

  Now your probably saying "great with this asshole's advice I'll be dead within a week!" Well I don't eat meals like this all the time. And when I do it is guilt free because its so much healthier than the versions I used to eat. The potatoes are baked not fried. The olive oil is good for your heart,skin,hair etc. Avocado is one of nature's healthiest super foods. And the bacon which is the biggest offender is only coconut! Let's put it this way, I have no problems sleeping at night. And neither will you.

  So long story short I truly hope that everyone has a kick ass year, vegans and non vegans alike. If you decided to go vegan this year the animals and I thank you. And if you have any questions, like that creepy teacher you used to have, my door is always open. lol. But seriously if there is anything I can do to help with the transition to veganism, or anything else in your life I can help you with please let me know. Until next time my friends. Choose love over fear and bye for now.
                                                                         -The Vegan Culprit